Rachel

ESA - no surprise there really

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:38:08 GMT

"I regret to inform you that after very careful consideration, it has been decided not to retain your application for the post of Astronaut. However, should you not object, we would like to keep your file on record for other career opportunities at ESA and contact you if a post which matches your profile should emerge."

Some interesting statistics on the astronaut applicants which crazyscot pointed me at some time ago and I forgot to link to at the time.

Haha

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:09:47 GMT

An advert in the back of the most recently-read ancient M&B romance (formatting theirs):

"Each Romance features British heroines and their encounters with dark and desirable Mediterranean men. Plus, a free Elmlea recipe booklet inside every pack."

Yeah, that's the way to attract those dark and desirable Mediterranean men: fake cream.

Annoyed by two books in a row featuring wimpy women and sexual assault justified by "she wanted it really".

Festival packing

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:46:17 GMT

Going down by car tomorrow (thanks to arnhem):

Charles's car seat (for transport to/from station)
Tent
Rucksack containing: sleeping bags, clothes, towels, Tricotti sling, trashy novels I don't mind losing
Bag of wellies
Bag of waterproofs

Going down by train on Friday:

Me
Charles (carried in Papatum sling)
Large waterproof 'beach' bag containing:

wipes & changemat
toiletries
torch
some things to entertain Charles on train
change of toddler clothes
suncream
tickets, railcard, wallet, keys, phone
drugs (migraine and UTI)
nappies, food and water for journey only
camera? spare battery?

To be bought on way from station to festival:

More nappies & wipes
Lots of cheap bottled water
Supply of easy room-temp food for breakfast, snacks, etc.

To be left behind (and missed lots) for strange dislike of camping and folk music:

fanf

Lunchtime check

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:17:46 GMT

Pain almost gone, but I'm still too tired/stupid to work. Slow and steady improvement - if it continues I should be fine for work tomorrow. Good thing too as I'm booked for a long weekend, so it would be nice to finish up a few things before going away.

I love modern medicine. It is a sobering thought that the penicillin I take almost for granted was only just becoming available to my grandmothers when they were my age - and not there at all for my great-grandmothers. Presumably women just suffered through UTIs back then, and hoped their immune systems were up to the job.

I love antibiotics

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:51:47 GMT

At lunchtime yesterday, I started feeling a bit sore in an indigestiony way, which over the next two hours turned into "hurts too much to think". NHS Direct sent me to my GP, who took a urine sample and said "ooh, looks like an infection, have some antibiotics while I send this off to the lab". She also checked on my coil (and that was an interesting exercise in breathing and relaxation, oh yes), and because she wasn't completely sure she saw the strings, I'm being referred for an ultrasound to check the coil is still there. Joy.

I left under instructions to return the next day if I got worse, and to return in two days if I hadn't improved. Boots pharmacy was incredibly busy but I was too sore to go find another one once there. Tony was a darling and came out of work to pick up Charles, carry him and all his stuff for me and make sure I was settled ok before returning to the office.

At home, I raided my carefully-hoarded supply of Really Good Painkillers left over from post-childbirth and survived the evening. The antibiotics seemed to be working by bedtime, as I was in less pain when the drugs wore off, and this morning it's a bearable ache on normal OTC painkillers so long as I don't do much. Just when I think I'm ok a couple of rounds of toddler-chasing makes it clear I'm not. I am going to take at least the morning off work to give my penicillin-reinforced troops more time, and see how I feel around lunchtime.

I'm not unused to getting the occasional urinary tract infection, but normally I get mild cystitis symptoms and drink pints of water for a few hours until it goes away. A couple of times that hasn't worked and I've slowly developed worse pain and needed antibiotics. This came completely out of the blue, straight into "the bugs are colonising the kidneys" territory from the off. Weird.

Hurray for antibiotics.

Room available

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:21:36 GMT

Our lodger is moving into a flatshare with a friend, exact date not yet known, but around the end of August/early September.

So, available from then:

1 furnished room (currently has double bed, wardrobe, desk, chest of drawers, bookcase) in large family home with garden. Quiet and pleasant location in north Cambridge, between Huntingdon Road and Histon Road. Shops and bus routes 5,6,7 all a few minutes walk away. Broadband internet & Freeview PVR. Permanent occupants are a couple with a toddler and 2 cats. Rent is 400 pounds per month including all bills.

If you know anyone who might be interested, please get them to email or phone me.

Very old Charles photos

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:37:45 GMT

Asleep with sleeping grandfather Conrad

First passport arrives ... and is bigger than his head (as well as already not recognisable).

A cuddle with Cat

Being good neighbours

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:12:16 GMT

Jonny and I were hanging out laundry in the garden yesterday evening when we thought we heard someone calling "Help!". I called back "Hello?" uncertainly, and was rewarded with another "Help" which allowed me to place it in the garden of our back-fence neighbour. It takes about 5 minutes to walk around by road; I climbed part-way up the fence and couldn't see anything, but did spot where a fairly safe dismount could be made over the other side, and sent Jonny over the fence while I ran to get shoes for me. I came back to find Jonny pulling someone out of a hole and saying he needed help; there were a few moments of utter panic when I turned from Jonny needing help, to Charles bimbling round the garden and not-leavable, and then I remembered our immediate neighbours.

I ran to next-door and asked Vahit to come and help - he went over the fence too, but by then Jonny had got the man out. I had brought the phone handset in case ambulances were needed, and then dropped it in some shrubbery, and then had to page it so Jonny could find it, and then the man said he didn't need an ambulance. And then I had to go and change Charles, leaving Jonny and Vahit to it. Someone else arrived just as they were leaving - a friend bringing food I think. After lots of conversation, Jonny & Vahit came back the long way round and we ended up chatting in our front driveway for quite a while.

The back-fence neighbour is quite elderly, in his early eighties, and was widowed a few years ago, and apparently has no children, just a few friends who come round regularly and check on him and bring him food. He was trying to unblock the drains, and managed to get himself stuck such that he couldn't even hit the alert button he wears. Vahit is worried about him and said "who should you call about this" and I said I wasn't sure and will find out.

(We then realised we don't even know his name.)

I will consult some of our other neighbours, Helen's parents, who are also fence-neighbours with this man, and I think may be the people who told me he was widowed. I wasn't up to doing it yesterday - the reason I was home hanging out laundry rather than at ballet was because I was feeling sub-migrainey and very tired - but will try to do so today.

I'm glad I was home; I'm glad Jonny is strong; I'm glad we're on good enough terms with next-door that I can get them to come help like that. I'm trying not to get too worried about what-might-have-been.

In passing, I got Vahit's permission to clear the overgrowth off the odd-shaped piece of land between our houses - the property line runs down the middle but it's crazy to only clear my own land. I need to clear it so the meters can be read without a fight through the jungle, but a nice bonus should be more safe space for the children (mine and next-door's two, and next-next-door's two) to play.

Weekend

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:43:49 GMT

Saturday:
I didn't do everything as originally planned: I did help mobbsy move, which was ace fun. I got to be loadmaster, playing furniture tetris with the van (er, did the second load survive? I mean to check). I departed when there was a general break for lunch, in order to go home, shower, and then drag Tony & Charles to a Benefactors Garden Party (relocated to Dome) at Murray Edwards.

There were several names I recognised in the attendance list, but I didn't see them in person, apart from my much-loved old DoS and the College President. I had an interesting conversation with a rather older alumna who was very much anti the name change, but actually the longest conversation was with another mother (surprise). She had brought a darling little toddler almost exactly the same age as Charles, but rather shyer. The toddlers got on and the family live nearby so I managed to swap email addresses and might actually get the tuits to organise some play dates.

We got home, and discovered some of my planning to remove heaps of garden waste had apparently worked, by its absence. Very soon after I realised I had a headache ... and then I realised it was actually a migraine ... and then I forgot one of the vital drugs for 30 minutes. So I then had a long dull evening lying down and reading trashy romance and failing to sleep, before eventually getting up to drink and eat, and ended up watching the remake of The Italian Job with Tony.

Sunday I took very very easily in order not to trigger another migraine. I did manage to do some freecycle admin and read up more about Inbox Zero, which in turn meant I installed Thunderbird, made it work and set up some templates and filters that may be useful. As with a lot of the 43-folders/Getting Things Done stuff, I think that I naturally have the right general principles, but can get much better by using some specific techniques. Still, I'm currently at about 20 in my personal inbox and want to get to 0 by the end of the week.

My attempts to make space in the house by freecycling books failed when one of the people taking away books gave me a carrier bag of more trashy romance in exchange. I lack willpower to resist people giving me Free Books Brought To My Door. I have managed to find temporary storage space for them anyway, but there's only so much I can read in one go.

Today I went to work as usual but was definitely still a bit slow and tired from the migraine. Afterwards, I opted out of ballet, but carried out a commitment to demonstrate slings to an antenatal yoga class (the one I attended for a bit when pregnant). Charles was fairly co-operative right up until I stopped him Playing With Doors in order to evilly make him go home. I've never had to fight to get him in the bike seat before, but luckily I was able to distract him by pointing out cats and vans and lorries, so he was actually quite happy by the time we got home.

Childcare and toddler group rant

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:09:35 GMT

Why do none of the local parent+baby activities take place outside normal office hours? (With the sole exception of Saturdads.) Why are the vast majority of those activities actually mother+baby in practice?

Why are fathers-as-carers so little valued that there is felt to be a need for Saturdads?

How many fathers get quizzed as to how they will juggle their career and their family?

Why do we know no other families[1] where a father has taken a significant (if temporary) cut in working hours in order to share the childcare? I can't believe Tony is extreme among fathers in his love for Charles; I can't believe I am extreme among mothers in my love of my job. I suppose I can believe that the university is extreme in actually putting its money where its policies of work-life balance are.

[1] Ok, we sort-of know ONE local stay-at-home dad, in a very casual-acquaintance way.

There are biological limits on how long a mother can work into pregnancy, and how soon she can go back to work afterwards, no denying, but this is usually a matter of a few months, not years. Breastfeeding isn't a barrier to working, if the employer will allow pumping breaks (a matter of 20 minutes every few hours, and somewhere clean and private to do so).

Fundamentally, why is childcare seen as a "women's issue" rather than a "parent's issue"? I can't help feeling this is at the root of a lot of casual sexism. In an ideal world, fathers would be as likely as mothers to take reduced hours or time off for their children. (There may be a separate discussion as to just what concessions should be made to working parents versus working non-parents, but I think it is a disservice to both men and women to confuse "parents" with "mothers".)

New words

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 08:12:00 GMT

Ow (usually given maximum possible pathetic intonation)
Nonny (Jonny)
Mum/Mummy (AT LAST, after Daddy and Granny and Jonny)
Anna (Johanna, his childminder)
Lala (Laa Laa/Teletubbies)
Yum (usually used for breastmilk, heh)
oo-wha? (What?/What's that?)
le-lah! (look at that!)
Whee (for movement - either on bike or looking at moving vehicles)
More

fanf can fill in any I've missed ...

Useful

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 08:38:53 GMT

Wednesday was a frustrating day where I couldn't figure out how to fix anything at work, barely kept up with Charles, and fell asleep almost as soon as Tony got home.

On Thursday I got into work and suddenly managed to go Fix Fix Fix Fix Fix. On a keyboard break I managed to remember to ring up the milkman and get our order changed (cancel eggs, more milk, add orange juice; I may reinstate a smaller egg order when we don't have a backlog of 3 dozen).

After work I tried out the buggy loan scheme at Park St cycle park. Until now I've not had a reason to try it out because if I'm going into town from home then it only takes about 15 minutes longer to walk with the buggy than to cycle. However, now that I'm working full-time, going directly from Charles's childminder to the cycle park means I can get to the bank before it shuts on a weekday, which would be very hard to achieve going via home.

Just to add to my sense of Getting Things Done, there is a cycle repair stand set up most days in the cycle store, so I was able to swap to buggy, leave my bike to get its brakes adjusted and replaced (a task getting ever more urgent but even harder to schedule around full-time hours than banks), go and Do Errands, get back, swap shopping from borrowed buggy to bike, pay for bike repair, go home, collapse.

And then get up, do laundry and dishwasher faff, take driving licence round to mobbsy for use in van hire, go to pub, allow Charles to monopolise jdc39 and stephdiary , go home, eat icecream.

Today is a day of Complicated Logistics, involving Saturdads, moving mobbsy, a ~~New Hall~~Murray Edwards Benefactors Garden Party, and possibly moving some of our increasing heaps of garden waste to Milton Recycling Centre. So I am happy.

(I spent 10 minutes trying to draw a picture of today's schedule with HTML tables but failed to adequately convey what is in my head, so stopped.)

No guessing required

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:39:35 GMT

Yesterday I got a little Amazon parcel containing 3 CDs: an album and a single by The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, and "The Finest 'Arvest of The Wurzels".

"Ah," said I. "This will be from my father."

And so it was.

Happy 3rd wedding anniversary to us

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:44:36 GMT

Charles decided to help us start celebrating early by having a Mystery Nightime Tantrum at 3am.

So that's why the pending membership has shot up

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:07:15 GMT

Freecycle got mentioned in today's Sunday Times:
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/money/consumer_affairs/article4276453.ece

A pity though - 'swap shop' is exactly what Freecycle isn't, and I wish they'd focused less on the getting and more on the giving. I foresee a lot of educational rejection messages being required shortly ...

(I don't think I ever blogged this, but since March, I've been on the moderation team for the Cambridge Freecycle group, current membership approaching 13,000.)

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 17:04:04 GMT

Dear HMRC,

No, you haven't "changed my tax code following receipt of your tax return". It is in fact exactly the same as it was beforehand, as it should be.

Also, if you could sort out whatever weirdo rounding errors mean you think fanf owes you exactly £1, that would be nice.

No love,

Rachel

Weight, May & June

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:52:19 GMT

At the end of April (when I last posted) I was 95.4kg.
At the end of May I was 94.8kg (0.6kg lost)
At the end of June I was 93.8 (1kg lost).

This follows essentially no change for the five months before May, so I am relieved to see things finally moving downward again. I think the focus for me on sleep and exercise is paying off weight-wise as well as in general sanity-maintenance.

The nicest thing about June was I spent a week in France eating whatever I felt like, and had no weight gain on my return - previous trips always seem to have added a kg or two to the scales, so perhaps I am doing better at staying in touch with what my body actually wants.

I suspect my minimal alcohol intake may have something to do with it as well: maybe the 'stop eating, I'm full' signals come through better when sober. I'm not being puritanical about drinking, but my body is consistently signalling 'stop drinking, do not want' after fairly small amounts (1-2 units at most), and this has been the case since I had Charles. (When I was pregnant, it was amazing if I could actually drink a whole unit of alcohol in an evening, even though I was 'allowed' 1-2 units once or twice a week).

On closing credit card accounts

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:45:48 GMT

I am an unashamed credit card tart and recently I've been moving money around and closing down no-longer-used credit card accounts.

Nationwide: somewhat tedious time on hold on a Monday morning, but then very straightforward conversation lasting less than 3 minutes (including the security checks).

Sainsbury's Bank: No on-hold time at all this morning, but then having cleared security, I was passed to a separate department to "handle closures". What they actually mean is "try by hook or crook to prevent you closing". I went through several iterations of politely and firmly saying "thank you but I just want to close the account" until I reached "look, all I want to do is close the account, that's what I rang up to do and I don't appreciate this hard-sell approach at all", at which point he finally dropped it and finished the remaining faff quite quickly.

The chances of me EVER banking with Sainsbury's again are rapidly diminishing, especially after a couple of minor irritations while using them (a lost payment that eventually got tracked down and the incurred interest refunded; trying to get a credit limit rise got the response saying "sorry, you have to wait until you've had the account for 6 months" - even when I'd had it for more than 6 months, at which point I gave up).

Something fun

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:01:19 GMT

(I need a new family userpic that shows us now, not nearly 2 years ago).

Yesterday we went to Shepreth Wildlife Park. It's small but seems to make good use of its space and take care of the animals well. Charles's favourite part was of course the playground. I like that it's easily reachable by public transport, and can see us going again from time to time, as Charles grows up and will get different things out of it.

Charles did a lot of pointing at things and we explained what they were. Sometimes he seemed to be trying to say names back to us. When we pointed out a duck, he quacked!

He is getting very interested in trains and I am beginning to think about locating Thomas episodes on dvd. When the train was in motion he looked out the window and said "wheeee, wheeeee" a great deal. He also looks up at the sky every time there is a plane or helicopter noise.

Today we are about to go and surprise Tony's mother by meeting her at Stansted airport - for once the trains are not completely useless for doing this.

Relief

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:57:46 GMT

Charles is Officially Well, having lasted >48 hours without recurrence of illness, and nearly has his old appetite back. We were laying things out for lunch and found him doing his best to make inroads in the huge family pork pie ... Later on he begged and pleaded for a taste of the co-op fancy lemon tart we had as dessert - only to pull the most hilariously disgusted face once it was in his mouth. Too lemony for Charles.

We are going to try to do Something Fun tomorrow and Friday, to make up for all the annoyance of the last 10 days or so. In the mean time, we finally got hold of Making Money this week and Tony is following me in chuckling his way through it.

This afternoon I took Charles on a long bike ride around Cambridge to collect Freecycle offerings. We went over two new (to me) bridges and across two commons. He seemed to enjoy it even with the intermittent rain, and chattered to me a great deal. I was considerably more competent with the trailer this time, compared to our last Freecycle run (where the trailer came off twice). With both toddler aboard and trailer in tow, I'm definitely slower than usual, but not too badly so. It made a lovely hour's exercise, anyway.

I got home, decanted bags and baby and successfully got some post into the nearby box before the last collection. Rar.

Good things, bad things

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:37:01 GMT

I found my diary! WOOO! I decided to make a methodical search of the house, starting with the study (last known location) and found it tucked inside one of my lever arch files. HUGE RELIEF AND JOY.

The doctor said Charles is doing fine and that babies just sometimes take longer to get well, we need to concentrate on keeping him hydrated (we are apparently doing really well there) until he's got rid of the virus. Then we can worry about feeding him up again. I think the massive tantrum Charles was having throughout the appointment may have helped reassure the doctor that he wasn't wasting away: both the energy required and the fact he was producing copious tears.

The last three times he's been ill seem to have been triggered by overly rich food, so I am going to have to work hard on my natural impulse to share food with him, and stay firm in the face of distressed hungry toddler (or eat only plain food myself, I suppose). The last two times were in the last hour and definitely my fault :(

No holiday

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:35:17 GMT

Charles was ill late last night, so we have given up on the holiday. We are off work until Friday, so have plenty of time to see Charles get better, if Tony and I manage not to go mad in the meantime. We are trying hard not to be too grumpy but the fact remains we are quite bored, isolated and frustrated. Tony has managed to do some work from home and I've been escaping into some favourite books. My diary is still missing, which is really bugging me, but I haven't yet been able to devote enough time to an intensive search of the house.

Signals are mixed as to how Charles is doing: he is almost back to his normal self in personality, but he is also noticeably thinner, sticking-out ribs and weedy limbs. He is still sick at least twice a day. He has lost at least half a kilo (from a starting point of approx 12kg). I have never been more grateful for being able to breastfeed him, and for not making any push to stop him; at the moment I think I'm his primary source of nutrition and fluids, though we are trying to get plain food and dilute juice into him as well.

We will take him back to the doctor tomorrow.

Things you never thought you'd say

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:42:19 GMT

It was such a relief when Charles started being noisy again yesterday evening! Even the part where he had a good noisy cry. He hasn't had the energy to do that all week.

He isn't completely better, still quite thin and sleeping more than usual, but he is so much more his 'normal' self when awake that I am much happier. He hasn't yet ruled out us going on holiday either, but I am trying hard not to count on that because it could change at any time.

This morning I took him in the buggy to do a couple of local errands (on the basis that the buggy is fairly effective at stopping him coming into contact with other people). Shortly after we got back he climbed back into the buggy, did up the straps (with a bit of help) and pointed imperiously at the door. We took another 10-minute walk around the block, and after that he seemed happy to settle down inside again for a bit.

We've all been going a bit stir-crazy and it's been great to speak to Other People, whether by phone or IRC. Hurrah for technology.

Update

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:11:51 GMT

Well, the doctor checked his ears, his throat, listened to his tummy and checked his temperature, and concluded that he has no obvious sign of any serious infection, and that he just maybe has a particularly irritated stomach. She was pleased with his lack of deyhdration, and said he seemed basically ok (apart from the whole being sick part). We were advised to go on letting him eat and drink as he wanted to, to bring him back if he was still ill on Monday, and obviously to call the out-of-hours CamDOC service if he got worse over the weekend.

He seemed cheerful and happy afterwards, asked for lots of the big comforting lunch that Tony cooked up for us ... and threw up again at about 3:30pm.

We've discussed and decided that the latest we're prepared to try to join this party is Monday, because trekking across the country for only a couple of days of holiday seems a bit pointless. The go/no-go should be clear by tomorrow lunchtime - if he's sick after about 11am tomorrow, that's it, we're not going. I think we need to draw a line, because the uncertainty is really getting to us.

To add to the General Fun and Happiness, I have managed to lose my diary, vital keeper of our schedules, between 9pm last night and 10:15am this morning.

Beyond bah

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:29:26 GMT

Charles was chirpy at first this morning, and then suddenly shifted into subdued mode. He hadn't actually been sick but I felt worried enough to arrange a doctor's appointment anyway. Sure enough, about 5 minutes after I put the phone down, off he went.

I am getting worried now - he should be over this norovirus by now, and I think he's losing weight, despite our best efforts to keep food and water going into him. All the NHS advice is to "trust your parental instincts"; well mine are ringing alarm bells now. I hope the doctor can help.

I'm beginning to doubt we'll ever get on this holiday now; Tony was asking about travel insurance but I'm not sure I actually care. I just want my son to be well.