Dear HMRC,

No, you haven't "changed my tax code following receipt of your tax return". It is in fact exactly the same as it was beforehand, as it should be.

Also, if you could sort out whatever weirdo rounding errors mean you think fanf owes you exactly £1, that would be nice.

No love,

Rachel

During the last tax year Tony joined me in receiving income from lodgers in his home over the Rent A Room allowance, and therefore needs to start filling in tax returns. I'm going to do most of the work as a) I like paperwork b) I am an old hand at tax returns now.

To register to do tax returns online (by far the easiest way), you need among other things a Unique Tax Reference (UTR). I got mine years ago by ringing up the local tax office, so rang up to ask for one for Tony. It turns out they "never give out UTRs by phone any more, you have to write". So he posted a letter some weeks ago saying "I need to start doing Tax Returns, can I have a UTR". This week he got a generic letter back saying "We have looked at our current tax records for you and now believe we should be asking you to complete Tax Returns this year. [much waffle]"

Aside from the generic form letter and the false information (er, you didn't "check your records", we WROTE AND TOLD YOU), is there a helpfully labelled UTR anywhere on the letter? Of course there isn't. There's an "Our reference" which is the right length, and we'll try using shortly, but honestly, is it too much to expect them to READ THE LETTER and RESPOND TO WHAT HE ASKED FOR?

Die. Die. Die.