For most of the last three weeks I have slept badly and insufficiently, and I have paid for it this week with two migraines. Finally yesterday I found a change to think out loud with Tony (and Verity's friend Vicky) about what was going on. We concluded that I had been trying to do two things at once: move Charles into his own bed, and get him used to sleeping alone. He's been waking up frequently and crying, and I've been responding and then trying to stay awake so I can get back to my own bed. It's too much change in one go for Charles and too much disruption for me.

It helps to focus on the actual problem: we wanted Charles to nap unsupervised in his own (safe) room, rather than ours which is too full of temptation for unsupervised curious toddlers. We preferred that to a serious reorganisation of our room. Having decided he should nap in his own room, we've got him sleeping there at night too, even though we were not previously too bothered about him sharing our bed. It probably helps him to have a consistent place to sleep.

The bed is big enough and comfy enough for both of us, and Charles is not at all used to sleeping the whole night through on his own. He'll sleep the first part, but he seems to stir around midnight and around 4am, and he's been used his whole life to having company at night, and he cries when he wakes up alone. So we think for now we'll just stick with shifting his sleeping place, and not try to make him sleep alone yet. I will sleep in my bed until he calls for me and then I will sleep in his bed until morning. We hope that he'll get more secure with time and go longer without company; he is already used to napping alone and sleeping the first part of the night alone.

It all seems completely straightforward when I write it like that, and yet in my head I had the two goals muddled up and was trying to meet a goal I didn't really need to yet. The more my sleep got mucked about, the harder it was to think about. Tony assures me he'll cope if I'm not there in the mornings for a while (he will probably sleep better too without me getting up and down all the time).

On Monday, I had just finished posting about moving Charles to his own bed when there was an ominous thud followed by a wail - yes, he had rolled off the bed and fallen the 20cm to the floor.

He settled down again very easily but woke again just as I was dozing off about half an hour later, and I spent the rest of the night in with him.

On Tuesday night he settled down very soon after L & arnhem had gone home, and woke at 11, 2, 4 and 6. I managed to get back to my bed in between times, which was good for the plan, but less good for my sleep.

Last night we were both asleep in his bed by 9. I got up about midnight and got back into my bed; back to his about 4am, where I stayed.

We have some books and toys in his room now, so he has more things to entertain himself when he wakes up alone in the morning. It was quite funny listening to him chirp away to himself on Wednesday morning, until he wanted to come and find us and squeaked when he couldn't open the door. Sometimes he shuts me out of his room, and then after a few minutes knocks on the door so I will open it.

At Eastercon, Charles learned how to climb down off beds. After several afternoon naps where instead of calling for me, he got down off the bed to come and find me, we decided it was best to finish preparing his room for him. He is too good at depopulating our bookshelves to wander around our room unattended.

His room has had a bed in it for months, but we've mostly used it as "spare room" because of various bits of non-baby-friendly stuff cluttering it up. It is a full-size single bed at floor level,with a proper mattress, duvet etc. It was part of a set, a guest bed to roll out from under a standard single. If he rolls out, he won't hurt himself, and I can sleep there with him comfortably if required.

So on Saturday and Sunday nights, I took him to sleep there, and then ended up spending the rest of each night there too due to exhaustion, and not having sorted out the baby monitor. The plan was to put him down for afternoon naps there, but he hasn't had them at convenient times. But tonight I settled him there (eventually) and plan to go to sleep in our bed with the monitor on. I expect there will be a period of disrupted nights, but in the long-term I should get better sleep.

He was 18 months old yesterday.

Charles and I have been well since Thursday afternoon. (This 48-hour thing is very sensible - Charles twice went 36 hours between bouts before finally getting well.) Tony managed to avoid being ill altogether. Jonny succumbed Friday but I think is better now.

On Saturday we spent the afternoon with arnhem and L, and I was introduced to the Ukulele Orchestra DVD while Tony spent quality time with L's lego. I was meant to go out for a meal celebrating my friend's escape from ex-work but by the time I needed to leave I was far too tired so wimped out.

On Sunday we made an excellently productive shopping trip into town, for the three Finch birthdays this month and a few other errands. Sunday shopping in Cambridge is almost bearable although we did seem to keep orbiting John Lewis and the not-quite-finished Grand Arcade. Yippee on King Street is fairly child-friendly and Charles approves of noodles.

I am still falling asleep around 8-9pm most evenings (today being an obvious exception), but now mostly avoiding the midnight insomnia. I will assume I just need to sleep a lot, and try not to resent losing evenings with Tony.

Charles greeted James's return from Australia with terrified screams and a tantrum demonstration.

Our cleaner is lovely but just as we are settling into a good routine she is going to miss 4 weeks due to Easter hols and a trip home to her mother. I will try to encourage myself and the other adult residents not to let the place slip back into squalor in the meantime.

or, why I was awake when the earthquake happened.

My sleep cycle used to go: aim for bed before 11pm, change Charles first, read a bit, go to sleep fairly quickly, wake up by alarm at 6am if voracious toddler has not already awoken me, get out the house by 7:45 for work. 6-7 hours sleep is not really enough but it's good enough to do a fair imitation of a productive worker until 1pm when I go and fetch the toddler, who makes me tired in entirely different ways to work. I can just about imitate a good mother for him most days, and I cheat and use tv or toys or take advantage of Unka Jonny when I can't.

Occasionally I would either nap in the afternoons when Charles did, or fall asleep early in the evening when putting him to bed. Some days I would miss my <11pm deadline and then always for some reason end up wide awake until gone 1am, but still have to wake up at 5-6am. My imitation of a productive worker slips rather on those days, so I try not to do it very often.

Then about last Monday I started consistently falling asleep when I put Charles down, then waking fully-dressed some hours later, often hungry and/or thirsty and quite annoyed by missing out on my productive evening hours. By the time I've done all the going-to-bed faff I will often then be insomniac for another hour or so before finally falling asleep sometime after 2. I get 6-7 hours of sleep, but broken by an hour or two in the middle, which is even harder to cope with. And this has happened nearly every day since last Monday. I have started getting into pjs etc when I put Charles to bed, if only to cut down the necessary faff when I wake again at midnight.

I was being insomniac the other night, having been awake since 11:30ish, and would much rather have slept through it all.

Tonight Charles went to sleep earlier than usual and I just managed to avoid falling asleep with him, and have therefore had something more like my 'old' evening routine, getting a few things done. As it's Thursday there is little point in trying to sleep now as Tony gets home from the pub shortly.